When It's No Longer Fun

 

It will happen to every creative spirit. That moment when what you love becomes the thing you least want to see. The aversion to knitting happens to so many of us. Sometimes it is stress from expectations, and other times it is just plain old fiber fatigue. 

I penned this message on 2025 Aug 10 after years of silence. I realized I had things to process, and the peaceful hum that comes with knitting, fleshing out patterns, and staring at yarn until it took shape in my mind was no longer optional. 

So I stopped. 

Then came the hard part, not beating myself up for not giving time and attention to something I spent years planning, learning, and wishing to see. That took a lot of time. 

I redirected. 

I poured myself into work until it felt ridiculous, I traveled and took my bebe to see new sights and old faces. I lost siblings. friends, and almost my life. I can give myself the respect of space. 

I'm back up in this thang with a smile on my face and pushing ahead with no pressure. 

#NowPlaying Solange Cranes in the Sky

Clearing Out the Kitchen Sink

 

More and more, I realize that I am abstaining from anger. I see things that could ignite a sense of indignation, frustration, or disdain. I utter a quick "nope" and go about my day. Perusing the news and even scrolling social media, I see things that scream of anger, and I KNOW I have no desire to be angry with you. I wish I had unlocked this ability earlier in life. It never stuck, though. I knew how to be angry before anything else. No one told us the dangers of perpetual anger back then. Menopause is really giving me the slowdown needed to let the things that don't matter fall away.

I am excited to find my bliss, and I plan to capture my joy, as my dearest sister imparted. I won't limit it to any particular aspect of life. I will follow the threads along my life's path peacefully. Joy is as revolutionary as our very existence and should not be discounted or idolized. There is no way to avoid the emotions of life. Feelings of disappointment, grief, hope, fear, and so on are natural. Allowing them to set up shop and feed off of you is not natural. We have become conditioned to this aberration. 

I poured a lot of contemplative energy into this pattern, especially the yarn choice. I don't often go for acrylic yarn because of the sweaty hand factor, but this particular Lion Brand Bonbon mini set is perfect for a good-size neck-warming cowl. All of the colorways for Bonbon are vibrant and have the cutest names. It was a feel-good project to combat the dreariness of the dry season. 

How are you in these ever-changing times? 

#NowPlaying: Nashville Black American Wind Symphony 

Just Keep Joy Seeking

There have been so many life changes. I am happy because now I can breathe something other than work and a need to overcompensate. 

Things have changed, so many changes. Change really is the only constant in life. 

I hope that these winter days are filled with wonder instead of dread. I think we have been conditioned for lamentations in winter. I absolutely love to see the flowers that thrive in winter: pansies, amaryllis, hyacinth, and i love to see daffodil and tulip leaves slipping into existence. 

We bake more bread this time of year, so I delight in being loaf shaped in the spring. I hope that you dont view winter as a stopping point. I hope that you find respite and delight in every day things. Watching the crows forage in the midday sun, their feathers shimmering in jewel tones I try to find in yarn. 

In my desire to find things to take delight in, I have decided to finish or frog everything in order to free my needles in 2025.  I dont know how many works in progress I have tucked, stored, or stached away. I think I will photograph everyone I find and share its progress. I even found one in my sock drawer. 🤗 

I hope you find things that make your time feel well spent, even if it is staring at a murder of iridescent feathers. 

#NowPlaying Sade, "Flow"